Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
