she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Randomize
