i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
