She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
