I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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