Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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