I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
