Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
