he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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