Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
