My boss' voice literally gives me gas
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
