Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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