I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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