ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
