Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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