we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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