i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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