He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
