is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
