ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize