I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize