You're so nebulous sometimes
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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