come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
