Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
