She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
