i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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