I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
