dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
