did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I am available for nakedness
i believe in u and ur pee
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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