Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
