I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
