They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I fill condoms, not promises.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
