I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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