chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
