Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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