why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
