that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
