Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
