ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
