lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
