I like to think it a success when the cops are called
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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