More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
