I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
His nipple licking is glorious
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