I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
