so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
