i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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