i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
