I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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