I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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