wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
