quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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