Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
cat food counts as protein by the way
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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