i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
