maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
