Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
