I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
