I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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