get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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