Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Me. At least after what I've been through.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
