We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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