Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
