You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
