Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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