there's paper in my vomit.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
