im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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